Lies In Relationships – Where’s The Trust?

I think everyone would be lying if we ever said ‘I never lie… everything I say is always the truth!’ From lying to friends about why you’re late for lunch with them, to saying you slept in because the dog (that you don’t actually have :P) kept you up all night barking, little lies are everywhere. And for the most part at least, they’re harmless enough when they’re small and kept to a minimum.

But when it comes to relationships, it’s a much stricter environment. Lies of any kind – whether they’re ‘tiny, innocent white lies’ or full-blown lies in relationships that you know are going to lead to fights later on if they’re uncovered – are always going to blow up on you and put your relationship at risk.

One of the bigger building blocks for relationships is that good old thing called ‘trust’, and (just like the importance of a buildings foundations) when the trust starts to crumble or be frequently questioned in the eyes of your partner, this spells out bad news for the connection between the two of you, and even how long the relationship is going to keep going at all!

So How Do You Avoid These Problems?

First of all when trying to avoid white lies, just don’t get into the habit of telling them! I’ve heard of too many relationships that were at least badly damaged by someone telling one ‘innocent white lie’ after another – to couples that fell apart completely when somebody felt that they just couldn’t trust their partner anymore at all!

Telling lies in relationships of any kind is actually one of those habits that can become really addictive. Even if you don’t realise it at the time, your subconscious can actually start to look for situations where you could lie to your partner to get that little adrenaline rush that comes with that feeling of ‘getting away with it’. Since your mind thinks that this is what you want, it’ll actually start looking for ways to bring more lies into the relationship – which leaves you open to more than more chance of them being found out.

These lies might not seem so bad at the time, but what about when your partner finds out about one of them… do you suppose they’ll start thinking about other things that have been said? To say that white lies createa distrust is a huge understatement, because they can do a lot more than that as they bring about a whole boatload of other relationship landmines.

Is It Possible To Repair The Damage?

“No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, it’s never too late to turn back” ––Turkish Proverb

So it’s best not to get started telling lies in relationships of any kind, especially if you know your type of person that gets easily addicted to things in general. In the next post, we’ll talk about what you can do to repair the damage if you’ve already been caught telling fibs.

From how you can make your partner your partner trust you again, to finding ways to deal with your lies before they happen, let’s make sure that lying doesn’t play a part, and the structure of your relationship is solid – giving you the best chance of a long and happy relationship!